It's not all black and white

Isn't it ironic how in western society, we crave darker skin (as seen by the surplus amount of tanning salons), but white supremacy still exist?

Isn't it ironic, how in Eastern society, we crave lighter skin (as seen through the surplus amount of bleaching cream adverts), but there's still stigma surrounding white culture?

Having lived in England for pretty much all of my life and having grown up attending an all girls school, I've become accustomed to the popularity of fake tans. 

Party coming up? Fake tan.
Birthday? Fake tan.
Summer? Maybe go for a real tan. 

People lust over achieving that sun-kissed look because they think it helps define beauty what beauty is.

On the flip side of things, certain places in South Asia (namely Pakistan and India), people dream of having whiter skin, because in their society, this is what is considered the epitome of beauty. (Seriously, it's like someone could reject your hand in marriage because your skin is more pigmented- *rolls eyes forever*)

So, just to recap:

• In white society, people crave darker skin
• In brown society, people crave lighter skin

And this tells us:

• Both societies put us down for not having the perfect skin tone
• which in turn makes us feel like crap 
• so we turn to tanning salons and bleaching creams to fill the growing void inside us 
• but we should really just accept ourselves as who we are 
• screw you society

So, in Western society, we may love being tanned, but we also love being white: white supremacy.
Note: this is not an idea all white people, or even the majority of white people seem to agree with.

You may think racism is over, but boy are you wrong!

Did you know there were more than 87 000 racist incidents in schools across the UK in 2012? That's pretty much teaching kids that it's okay to make fun of someone because of where they're from (boo).

Now, back to South Asia: when I visited there this summer, I couldn't help but notice that people there were less open change, I guess.
Note: this again does not apply to all Pakistanis and Indians. 

For instance, the LGBT community is something which is a lot more accepted in England. This is probably down to a few things: the media not including lesbian/bi/trans characters in TV shows; religion; etc. 

So, don't you find it ironic that:

• In white society, people crave darker skin
• But some (not the majority) of these people may believe being white is the same as being the best
• In brown society, people crave lighter skin
• But, white culture may not be accepted by many 

So, what I'm trying to say is that, society will supply you with a vast amount of crap, and all you've really got to do it accept yourself and others for who they really are. 

#prayforhumanity

All my thoughts are prayers go out to those affected in Paris.
Going through my timeline on various social media, I've seen mixed responses to the monstrous attack that happened yesterday. Most-if not all- people have changed their profile picture, showing they stand behind Paris. This makes my heart swell a little; maybe not all humanity is lost.
However, over the last couple of years,we've witnessed an unfortunate amount of terrorist attacks , and in most cases, the victims did not receive nearly enough support.
Do you remember the 2014 attack on the Peshawar school? 141 killed. 132 of them were children. We dismissed it pretty fast, assuming atrocities like this to be the norm in somewhere like Pakistan. But did you know that during this attack, masked murderers poured fuel over a teacher's head and made ten year olds watch as she was burned to the stake? This is not the norm.
More recently, hardly any media coverage was given to the families of the 282 victims of the Lebanon attack, where corpses were found scattered all over the streets. Do these lives not matter?
At least 19 were killed in Baghdad, attending a funeral on Friday. A funeral.
And what about the numerous cowardly attacks that go on in Syria every day? Why do we only recognise the absolute horror of them when they hit close to home?
Why did we not change our profile pictures when these unjust tragedies happened? Why did countries worldwide only light up their buildings when terrorism hit France? No one life holds any greater importance than another.
So, of course I am praying for Paris, but I am also praying for Pakistan, Lebanon, Iraq, Syria and wherever else terrorists have struck.
The second thing I noticed as I scrolled through Facebook and Twitter was the incomprehensible amount of Muslims actively saying they condemn what happened in Paris, and that they are not terrorists. This goes unsaid.
It's sickening to think that every time something awful happens in the world, the majority of the time, Muslims are at the backlash of it. Why should they have to keep defending themselves if they're innocent?
As much as Fox News would hate to admit, not all Muslims are terrorists and not all terrorists are Muslims.
That's all there really is to it.

Is happiness better?

What is happiness?
I've been giving this question a lot of thought recently, but I'm finding that really, there's no one set definition. 
To me, happiness is a lot of things, for instance:

• Going to sleep to the sound of rain
• having a hot chocolate on a cold winter's day
• Getting a question right on a test, that I was sure I got wrong
• having a bit of a boogie to my favourite song
• (eh, that rhymed)

I could honestly go on forever, but I figured no one has that much time. So, I turned to trusty old Aristotle, who concluded happiness was the realisation of your potential. Or, the psychologist Bentham quite simple put it as "the presence of pleasure and the absence of pain." Take your pick, I guess.  

But, the undeniable truth is that happiness is only one emotion amongst the many; sadness, anger and fear, to name a few. 

But which is emotion is the best? Is there a "best emotion"?

If we were happy all the time, do you think we would really appreciate the feeling? Probably not, as we wouldn't have any negative emotion to compare it to. So, really happiness would become just a state of being, rather than an feeling. Now that just sounds wrong.

Also, if we were to eliminate fear from our lives completely, we probably wouldn't be able to react as quickly to any potential danger, making us, well, pretty useless. 

What about guilt? Without this pain in the ass, we wouldn't be able to get over our pride and apologise to anyone. 

Oh, and stress? Everyone hates that sucker. But, believe it or not, it actually motivates you to work harder (which in my case, is probably a good thing). 

So, I guess I wouldn't say any emotion is the "best" emotion to experience. Too much of any emotion-like too much to anything- is never a good thing. However, when experienced in the right amount, they're all pretty good for you. 

Is anyone else obsessed with these "happiness is..." photos??

You're such a girl

Many argue that gender inequality is pretty much non- existent in the east, but how is that possible when there are so many phrases in the English language that put women down?

For instance, "You kick like a girl"

Can someone please explain what this sentence is supposed to mean? When put in context, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be an insult- but when did kicking like a woman become such a bad thing? 
Or, what about "Grow some balls"/ "Stop being such a pussy"/ "man up"

You're flat out saying women are the weaker sex and yet the irony of these phrases is overwhelming: if you were to kick a guy's balls, we all know it's meant to hurt like hell. But, the female reproductive system can bleed for seven days straight, without causing any real harm to us. SO HOW DOES GROWING SOME BALLS HELP MAKE SOMEONE STRONGER??????

One that really get's on my nerves is "she was asking for it"

No one asks for rape. 

So, can we please stop victim blaming? Women should be allowed to wear red lipstick, and show some skin without having to deal with the fact that some men are unable to control themselves. 

A classic, is " who wears the pants in the relationship?"

Excuse me a second, while I go hit my head against a brick wall. 

This stems from the fact that in the past, it was strongly emphasised that men were the head of their wives, as well as the whole family. Plus, it used to be only men who wore trousers really. 

However, nowadays it's more widely accepted that both partners are equal in a relationship. So, the two of them should trousers as they wish (did I mention girls also look great in pants too) and both can be equal to each other. 

Then, there's the blood boiling "it's just a cat call"

No, it's outright harassment. If a girl looks good walking down the street, good for her. Why can't we just leave it at that? 

Physically calling out to her, (or going further and touching her) is plain uncomfortable and rather upsetting. So please stop.

The F word

Welcome to 2015, we have cars that can drive themselves and phones that can talk to you! Oh, but equal rights for men and women? oh yeah, well, we're still working on that...
Okay, first things first, I'm a feminist.  
But I don't follow the man-hating, child-slaughtering terror that some have stereotyped feminism to be. Us feminists, are more like people who believe with their whole heart, that men and women deserve equal rights.

This guy gets it. I could not have said it better myself.

However, the bitter, bitter truth is that even in the twenty first century, those equal rights fail to exist. Don't believe me?
Let's focus on the infamous example of how women are unable to drive in Saudi Arabia, by law. Now, the last time I checked, women too have hands to grip the wheel, feet to hit the pedal, and a brain to know when to swerve. So why are we stripped of this right?
Also, besides being unreasonable, it's fairly impractical too: isn't there some sort of a problem when a man is driving a bus full of young school girls?
Or, let's take the problem of gender inequality to the West: the pay gap. Granted, we've come a long way with this problem, but it still stands. Overall, in 2014, the pay gap was 19.1% in Great Britain, 16.4% on average in the EU and 18% in the US (2013).
I know that there's this long running joke that straight,white males have the least prejudice piled up against them- and for the most part, this is probably true- but it's hard to imagine that there goes no injustice against men. 
Did you know, every one in seven men experienced "severe physical violence" in 2012, whilst one in four were raped, stalked or abused by a partner. 
So, although women are more oppressed right now, there are some gender prejudices that men face too. 
Obviously, gender equality doesn't yet exist, and we need to recognise this, if we are to live in a more equal, peaceful, better world.  

All you beautiful people

When I was nine, my ten year old cousin sent me a card saying "friends come in all shapes and sizes, but my best friend comes in only one shape and size:yours"
The thing is though, it wasn't my birthday, it wasn't new years, I wasn't ill, and it definitely wasn't Christmas. So why did she send me the bloomin' card ?
Well, it wasn't until I grew up a little, that I realised she did this out of the good of her own heart- no personal gains what so ever. It was then that I realised I was one hell of a lucky girl- everyone needs a cousin/friend/dog to remind them how great they are from time to time, because the ugly truth is that everyone can feel under the weather every once in a while.

Take me for instance: a couple of days ago, I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, sulking at my lack of curves, my lack of thigh gap, and my lack of, well, body confidence. And trust me when I tell you, I spent an ashamedly large amount of time in a hole of my own self pity, before realising that this was just not worth it. 
I want to tell you now, girls and boys of the internet, you are beautiful. 
It may not feel like it on certain days, and that's okay. You may also not be completely happy with your body, and that's okay too. It takes time to accept yourself. And, if you want to lose weight or whatever, that's cool, but just make sure you don't beat yourself up about this whenever you start to feel fat or ugly. 
Loads of teenagers/adolescents/human beings feel just like this, and in an odd way, that's sort of reassuring: at least we're not alone. 
I realise now that beauty doesn't necessarily mean being a size six runway model- though it can be- just like it can mean being a size 12, 16, or 20 model. 
I realise this eight years after getting that card, even though the truth was staring at me in the face this entire time. 

Preaching positivity

"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose."
Starting off a blog post with a quote, is probably one of the top ten most cliché things to do on this planet. That, and taking pictures of your food (especially a Starbucks). So, for that I apologise profusely.
Anyway, in light of this quote, I wanted to talk to you about the very important matter of positivity.  
What is that, you say?
Well, probably since I was able to talk, I could confidently tell you that the glass was always going to be half empty. Which ultimately meant that as I was growing up, I couldn't help but look at the things a little negatively. 
This wasn't the easiest thing to deal with, as I was always putting way too much pressure on myself, and whatever I did, never seemed to be good enough.
Now this kind of attitude, when taken in small doses, can be healthy; it shows you want to strive for more. However, when you're stuck with it 24/7, it drains the world of its colour, and suddenly you're left living in black and white. 
I wanted this to change, so I opened up my windows and let some light in (cheesy level:off the charts). 
Every night, before going to bed, just remind yourself of three good things that happened today. Be it, someone giving you a compliment, or ticking something of you to do list, or even eating your favorite food. 
I try to do this, and stick with it, because it really does put a (sometimes massive, toothy) grin on my face. Also, if anything, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life; they've shown me that even on the worst of days, there's always going to be something positive to smile about (queue the "aaawws"). 
So, this brings me back to my quote: yesterday, for me symbolises all the troubles of my past-which I don't need to meddle with anymore. Tomorrow, I need to look at with a clear mind. Tomorrow, I'm going to appreciate the little things people do for me. Tomorrow, I'm going to try my hardest not to put too much pressure on myself. Tomorrow, I'm going to be more positive. Tomorrow, I'm going to win. 
Okay, now that I'm done being a soppy git, I just wanted to let you know that, sometimes life doesn't make being positive easy. Trust me, I get that. 
But, I'm not asking you to run around, singing about how much you love life (that would be funny to see though). I'm just asking you breathe, and know that everything will be okay, because "if it's not okay, then it's not the end" (two quotes in one post, I'm the epitome of being cliché).